And all before lunchtime...

We're on a roll this week...

Wednesday
London has his first swim lesson of the season today. He is excited and ready to go. Nevertheless, the morning is a whine-and-fight-fest with London wanting to play alone and Bodhi wanting to play with London. Trying to respect London's introvert needs, while attending to Bodhi's needs as an extrovert, all while trying to get us ready to go and breaking up fights in the meantime, was all pretty exhausting. Eventually, we made it to swim lessons. London starts strong and enthusiastic, but five minutes in, his teacher asks him to Super Man out to her. I could see that he looked scared and uncomfortable. Suddenly, a little baby getting lessons on the other side of the pool simultaneously starts crying. That set him off into the red zone. London starts yelling "MAMAMA!!!" while sobbing hysterically and refusing to do anything else despite both my and his teacher's efforts for the next 20-25 minutes. When the lesson had one minute left, he had finally calmed down and agreed to do some kicks in the pool. I was embarrassed and frustrated. It's now 11 am.

Thursday
Both boys woke up by 5:30am, but played peacefully and quietly until showtime at 6 am. After shows and breakfast, they resumed their playing, but by 7:30, London was chucking wooden puzzles at Bodhi and me, because...I think Bodhi tried to play too?

Later, I'm trying to get us ready to go for a walk, and keep getting interrupted by the boys whining, fighting, and London pretending to be a baby and insisting I treat him as such. It's frustrating, but I soldier on.

Shortly before our walk, we sit down together to arrange his schedule for the day (London has a paper schedule that we arrange every morning so he knows what to expect.) We sit down to put it together and London, without warning, starts smacking the papers everywhere and destroying the schedule. I calmly explain that that behavior is disrespectful and unacceptable. This sets him off in a rage, because apparently he was just 'pretending that he is a baby that doesn't understand and destroys things', so why should he be in trouble?! He picks up a heavy metal toy train, and cocks it back ready to throw. I sternly explain that if he throws that at me, he will not get to go to his uncle's house and will lose showtime. Inside, I am terrified, knowing if he throws it at me, from where he is standing 2 feet away, it will do some serious damage to my face. Angrily, he pretends to throw it at me, but keeps the toy in his hand. After several times of this torture, I decide to turn my attention elsewhere in the hopes he moves on to something else. Instead, he just picks up a different hard toy and chucks that, thankfully, away from my direction. Into the pack-in-play he goes. I shut the door and Bodhi wants to nurse. The entire time I nurse Bodhi, London screams and cries and won't let up expressing his anger. Afterwards, we have a calm, loving conversation while I hold him, but even still, I am drained. It's 9 am.

Friday
This morning both boys were up by five. Bodhi wakes up happy, punching me excitedly and yelling "MOOOM!" London opens the curtains and yells "IT'S MORNING!" Followed by: "Is it 6-0-0?" When I tell him its only 5, he proceeds to whine in protest. (They aren't allowed to watch a show until 6:00am.) "It's not my fault you guys woke up too early. You know the rules." I explain.

It's a whine-fest until 6:00am while I try to make a suitable breakfast. The smoothie makes his mouth too cold. The oatmeal doesn't look right. And of course we don't have enough bacon left to satisfy him. Now he wants nachos. For breakfast.

It's finally 6-0-0. I set his timer for 20 minutes, and he turns on Little Einsteins. The timer goes off too soon...for both of us. I had just finished making his nachos. "I wanted to eat my nachos WHILE I'm watching a show!" London yells. He's pretty upset and runs to his room to get a toy to throw at me. First, he just teases-pretending to throw the toy without actually letting go. Then he chucks a plastic baseball bat at me. I pick him up, set him in the pack-n-play (that he still can't climb out of), and shut the door.

He screams and yells and cries and doesn't let up. Meanwhile I google how to respond to aggression with kids with sensory processing issues. After a few minutes, I hear him yell "MOM I need to go Pee-Pee!" I rush him to the bathroom. He goes and is finally calm. We talk about why he was in timeout. We talk about throwing toys. Again. This time he says, "The pee-pee was making me throw things mom." Seems silly, but I believe him because his sensory issues cause an aversion to using the toilet, which causes lots of fight or flight behaviors. It's now 7 am.

The Boys

Found this old, unfinished post... How did they grow so fast?!

Bodhi lately...

Smiles sometimes when he sees me, getting fat, seems to be soy intolerant, has done a couple four+ hour stretches between 

Fun Things

Lavender Lucite Earrings

Oval Earrings

Sonnet James' Playsuit

Sonnet James' June Dress

Corinne T-Shirt Dress

Anthropologie Rio Pom Pom Clutch

LoLo

How can a human move so slow and yet so fast at the same time?

Your body is physically moving so fast I can't keep up and yet it takes you 20 minutes to put your shoes on...and they don't even have laces! (You pulled the laces out of all your lace-up shoes.)

It takes you a year to climb in your car-seat. You insist on climbing in through the opposite door, under Bodhi's rear-facing infant seat. And yet, it takes you just half a second to lock your door so that I can't unbuckle you without a game of "who can lock/unlock the door fastest."

It takes you an hour to bring me your toothbrush and toothpaste, but only takes you ten seconds to chuck it across the room in protest...after I've already put the toothpaste on the brush. The bigger the mess, the better, you seem to say.

It takes you thirty minutes to choose a shirt, after pulling five out of your drawer. And ten seconds to change your mind. And another ten minutes to choose a different shirt. Then another thirty of chasing you around before you will put it on. Sometimes we take you places in the nude and get you dressed when we get to our destination, often in the parking lot or in the garage as we are leaving.

London (aka LoLo, the nickname given to you lovingly by the Anderson family), you are the fastest slowpoke I have ever known.

Bodhi's Birth Story

Okay, so this is the longest post ever. For those who are uninterested in reading a million details of labor and delivery, here is the abridged version: We had a baby boy on September 3rd, named Bodhi Blake Cardon. 6 lbs. 9 oz. We love him! 

Last pic as a family of three

Waiting in Triage

Bodhi Blake

6 lbs 9 oz, 19.5"

London meeting Bodhi for the first time

Mckayli, London, Grandma Godard meeting Bodhi for the First Time

Skin to Skin with Dad=Sweetest thing I've ever seen

Heading Home

Finally home...

In the First Days with Bodhi

3 weeks old. LOVES his bink

3 Weeks Old

For those interested in all the gory details...

They took me off all of the medications on Thursday, and my last shot was that previous Monday. 

Thursday night: I had painful contractions between 3-8 minutes apart, but they never became regular and eventually went away. 

Saturday: starting around 10:30 am, I had contractions every 3 minutes for about 4 hours, and we got everything ready to go-bags packed, house cleaned, mom on stand by to pick up London-but they never intensified and eventually died down. It was very frustrating and exhausting! I tried to stay as active as possible, but still they just stopped. I was sooo ready to be done being pregnant! 

Monday night: I started having contractions between 3-8 minutes apart. They started to get closer together and gradually more intense, so we had my mom pick up London. I tried to wait as long as possible before going to the hospital (since 12 hours waiting around for London to be born was so uncomfortable and boring), but after another hour or two, they were pretty painful and close together, we decided to head over to the hospital. Of course, by the time we decided to leave, a storm rolled in and it was pouring so hard that Scott had to pull off the road into a gas station. It was pretty intense and I'm sure nerve wracking for Scott. Finally, we made it to the hospital. I can't remember how far I was dilated and effaced, but it wasn't much different from the last time my doctor checked me. Frustrating! My doctor happened to be at the hospital, so he stepped into my room in triage to say "Hi." He was pretty sure I was going to have my baby that night. Unfortunately, they checked me again after an hour or so, and I hadn't progressed at all. Even though I was still in lots of pain with all the contractions, they sent me home. I went home exhausted, defeated, and in tons of pain. I took a warm shower to try to ease the pain and to relax. Eventually, I was able to fall asleep and the contractions stopped. 

Tuesday: I was so tired I didn't want to even think about going into labor. 

Wednesday: I had a doctor appointment in the morning. He checked me and I was dilated to a 5, 80-90% effaced (I can't quite remember exactly)... He was going out of town on Friday and said if I didn't go into labor on my own that night, he would strip my membranes tomorrow. That check hurt bad and got the contractions started back up again. I had irregular contractions all evening, but they never became more regular, so around 9 pm, we headed off to bed. I used the restroom before laying down and there was blood. That didn't happen when I was in labor with London, so I was a little worried. We called my mom to come get London and then we headed off to the hospital again. 

10:00 pm-ish - Arrived at triage. We had the same nurse that we did on Monday. I liked her, so that was nice. But, I was still at a 5, 80-90% effaced. She said the blood was nothing to worry about and that she would check me again in an hour. I tried to stay standing up and moving as much as possible while attached to the monitors.

11:30 pm-ish - Still at a 5. Boo. The nurse left to call my doctor. I was sure they would send us back home, and was kind of hoping that we could go home and get some rest. (My dream delivery day was Thursday or Friday, so that we could take advantage of the 3-day weekend and the PTO Scott saved and he could be home all next week.)

12:00 am-ish - Doctor Huish instructed the nurse to have us walk around for an hour to see if it would help me progress. We walked around the postpartum area of the hospital, a small awkward square, in which we ran into the same nurses 8 million times as we looped around. We got to see the room that we had last time when London was born. 

1:00 am-ish - Still at a 5. grrr. But, the contractions had picked back up again. We waited for the nurse to call Dr. Huish.

1:30/2 am-ish - Since my contractions had picked up, Dr. Huish decided to admit me. The nurse said they were preparing a room for me. By this point, I was in a lot of pain. I tried to breath through my contractions and use the relaxation techniques I learned on the hypnobirthing youtube videos. I switched back and forth between leaning over the bed and sitting in a chair. I didn't want to lay down and have the contractions stop again. My birth plan was to try to see how long I could go without an epidural. I LOVED my epidural last time. It worked beautifully! I couldn't feel any pain (except at the end and only above where the epidural reaches), and could still feel the pressure of the contractions. However, the epidural seemed to slow down my contractions with London last time, requiring a double dose of pitocin and antibiotics. Also, I was hoping that by laboring naturally as long as possible, maybe I wouldn't need as big of an episiotomy and so hopefully my recovery would be a little easier than it was with London. Over an hour went by. We were both so uncomfortable in that little triage room. Scott was irate. He dosed off in the chair for maybe twenty minutes, but it was so uncomfortable he couldn't stay asleep very long. Throughout this whole time (well, actually the whole week), my mom kept texting me anxiously to see what was going on. She was excited when I let her know that they were admitting us. She had brought London back to her house, and he took awhile to fall back asleep, but luckily he was calm and just laid down by my mom until he was able to fall back asleep. I was so grateful to have my family close to watch him, where I know he is comfortable, so I didn't have to worry about him too much.

4:00 am-ish - Finally, the nurse returned, explaining they had an emergency and weren't able to prep a room for me until now. She drew blood (but couldn't get enough), got me hooked up to an IV and then we finally headed down to my labor and delivery room with my labor and delivery nurse. She drew more blood, hooked me up to all the monitors, started me on the antibiotics, etc, etc. Finally, she dimmed the lights and said we could try to get some sleep. Scott was finally more comfortable on a couch with pillows and a blanket and quickly fell asleep. I finally laid down and tried to sleep. 

5:00 am-ish - I only slept maybe 30 minutes and then couldn't sleep anymore because of the painful contractions. I got up to use the restroom. Then, the nurse came in and checked me. Still at a 5. Go figure.

5:30 am-ish - Dr. Huish came by and checked me. He agreed that I was still at a "loose 5" "almost 6". He broke my water then instructed my nurse to start me on pitocin. This labor was not going as I had hoped, but I understand that labors often go differently than planned. Plus, by that point, I was so ready to be done with labor, I was okay that they were going to speed things up. The nurse cleaned me up after Dr. Huish broke my water. Like, she literally wiped me like a baby. It was humiliating. I feel like with my first labor, everyone was very conscientious of keeping me as modest and covered as possible. This time around, there was no privacy. The nurses just did what they needed to do without trying to keep me covered or anything. Though I was a little embarrassed, I figure they've seen it all... The nurse said that she wanted to monitor how the baby handles the broken water before she starts me on pitocin. After Dr. Huish broke my water, the contractions started to pick up. They were closer together now and PAINFUL. Nevertheless, I continued to breathe through them, and tried to use my relaxation techniques as much as possible. 

6:00 am-ish - Nurse switch. My new nurse Keely was AMAZING! When I told her that I was trying to labor without an epidural as long as possible, she was very supportive! 

7:00/7:30 am-ish - She got me started on a low dose of pitocin, even though Dr. Huish would have liked it higher. The contractions hurt BAD. I sat on the edge of the bed, breathing through each contraction. Scott would help by holding my hand or touching my back. It was hard. But surprisingly, I was still doing pretty well. I just had to make it through each contraction, then I would have a couple minutes of relief before another one started back up. If I had an estimated timeline of how much longer I would have to do this for, I think I would have been more encouraged to keep going naturally, but without knowing, and since my labor had already been going on for four months, it was very hard. Nevertheless, it was still do-able at this point. 

8:30 am-ish - At some point, I believe she checked me again and I was still at just a 6. She said that she needed to up my dose of pitocin again. As soon as it kicked in, the contractions went from a 9/10 on the pain scale to a 25/10! It was literally the worst pain I have ever felt in.my.life! After two of those insane-screaming-crying-like-a-dramatic-movie-labor-scene contractions, I decided I wanted an epidural. She asked if I wanted her to check me again since I was probably in transition and almost at the end. "Nope." I replied. "I want an epidural." She was so awesome and called up the anesthesiologist right away. Thankfully, I had the same anesthesiologist as last time. I believe her name is Barb, and she is amazing! Keely said that she usually calls her to do her own epidurals. I love her. She was so quick and did it perfectly even. While I was waiting for the epidural and as it was being put in, I held Scott's hands. During the contractions, I was literally squeezing them so hard and screaming, like you see in the movies. What a cliche! Scott was laughing to himself. Yeah. So funny. Ha. Ha. Finally, the epidural started to kick in a little bit. Unfortunately, by this point I was almost at the end and so it didn't take away the pain, but just kind of took the edge off. I still had to breathe through the contractions and my body had started to shake uncontrollably. It was horrible. I felt like I was being such a drama queen with the shaking, but I literally couldn't help it. My body was doing its own thing. It was pretty weird. The epidural wasn't helping much, so they decided to give me more, but it still wasn't helping much. So, Barb decided to give me a stronger type of epidural medicine. She warned it would make my legs pretty numb for awhile after labor, but wanted me to be a little more comfortable. My body was still shaking, and I was still breathing through contractions and still in pain, but at least it was somewhat more bearable. 

9:00 am-ish - I got a catheter put in. And Keely checked me...I think I was at a 9 by this point. 

9:15/9:30 am-ish - I started feeling all this pressure down there. It is unlike anything I have every felt. It was Bizarre! I notified my nurse. She was going to head down the hallway to call Dr. Huish, but decided to check me first. Apparently I was closer than she thought, so she just used her walkie-talkie to ask another nurse to call Dr. Huish.

9:30/9:45 am-ish - Dr. Huish arrived. They got things prepared. Legs in stirrups. Baby warmer on. So exciting.

10:00 am-ish - And then I asked to push, since there was that crazy pressure going on. I pushed for maybe five minutes. Then Dr. Huish asked if I wanted him to give a little room for the baby's head via an episiotomy or I would tear. I opted for the epi. One more push and he was out. They laid him on my chest. And he was not happy! Screamed and screamed! With London, once they laid him on my chest and I started talking to him, he calmed down and looked at me. Not Bodhi. He was mad and wanted everyone to know it! He screamed for what felt like five minutes before he started to calm down. Dr. Huish did all the after birth fun stuff-deliver the placenta (Dr. Huish: "Would you like to see the placenta?" Me: "No way."), cut the cord, stitches, the works-all while I held little Bodhi. One thing I requested beforehand was that I just hold him and try to nurse before they take him off to be weighed and all that other stuff (look up information about the breast crawl online-its amazing!). So, they took his vitals while he was on my chest. After Dr. Huish and the nurses finished up, they left Scott, Bodhi and I alone. I had Bodhi on my chest, skin-to-skin, while I laid back. The epidural hadn't worn off completely yet, so thankfully I wasn't in a ton of pain. He started to make his way over, I helped him latch on, and he nursed! It was amazing! He nursed for probably an hour total-half on one side, half on the other. Though Bodhi is tongue and lip tied like London, I think this first nursing session was a big key to helping us figure out the nursing thing. Babies are most alert right after labor. After that, he struggled to eat because he was jaundiced and sleepy, but this first session kept me encouraged because I knew he could do it, so we stuck with it! After about two hours of skin to skin, and after Scott got to hold him for the first time, the nurse came and together with Scott, they helped me get up and cleaned off. (Scott later said, "I can't believe you were able to pee with her standing right there." Haha.) Then, she weighed and measured Bodhi. 6 lbs 9oz, 19.5(?) inches long. Then, she wheeled us off to our postpartum room. 

12:00 pm-ish - Our first post partum nurse was Mary, the magical and kind nurse from when we had London. She is very calming and it was nice to have her. I got to eat a big lunch, which was much better than the graham crackers I got after labor with London.

My mom brought London by to meet Bodhi, (even though it was London's naptime and he fell asleep in the car, we had her wake him up, I was too excited!). He brought the gift he bought for Bodhi (ASU shirts). And we had a gift from Bodhi to London (a puzzle) he got to open as well. When he first met Bodhi, he smiled. Then, lost interest and wanted to push all the buttons on the hospital bed. Then, he warmed up and wanted to hold Bodhi. It was an exciting and happy moment for our little family!

The next few days are a blur of sweet baby cuddles, family visits, nurses coming in and out, eating between feedings, doctors, checks, etc. We had to stay an extra day because Bodhi's jaundice levels were too high and he was only eating maybe 5 minutes every 4 hours, which worried the pediatrician. So, she instructed us to supplement with some formula. Thankfully, my milk came in that evening, so I didn't have to feed him very much formula and he was able to eat more. Friday we were frustrated because we really wanted to go home and the pediatrician was still concerned and had us stay an extra day. It was actually for the best, because on Saturday I was able to meet with a lactation consultant that was amazing and helped me to know how to deal with engorgement and get Bodhi to latch better. Finally on Saturday around 1 pm, we were able to go home! So, London spent more than half the week at my parents house, but luckily he loved it. And, luckily Scott didn't have to go back to work until Friday of the following week. So, we had a very magical week as a little family of four (despite London not sleeping at night, crying every time the baby would cry, and turning into a little maniac). And Bodhi is nursing great, which is SO much easier than pumping full time! And the recovery this time around was SO much easier!

 

3 weeks old

Logical Explanation

Me: "Why did you poop in the bath?"
London: "...Bodhi poop in little bath."

A Day in the Life of a Hamster (aka Mom)

1:30 am - Newborn cries wanting to eat. After nursing, burping, diaper changing, nursing, and burping again, the baby finally falls back to sleep around 2:15 am. 

2:15 am - Try to go back to sleep. Stomach growls. Nausea sets in. Must eat. Breastfeeding burns calories like crazy. Grab a bowl of cereal. Brush teeth again...or did I even brush them before?...I don't remember... pee. 

2:30 am - Lay back down.

2:35 am - Toddler (who at some point earlier in the night made his way into our bed) starts yelling in his sleep and shaking his hand furiously...probably a nightmare about the bee sting that happened earlier in the day. I try to comfort him back to sleep, but he wakes up anyways. He wants milk. (His new favorite drink. He hated milk until the baby was born.) Get him some milk. 

2:40 am - Lay back down. Start to fall asleep...

3:00 am - Toddler wakes you back up asking for more milk. I refuse- "You already had some. Go back to sleep." Crying and whining ensue. Fine. I get some more milk.

3:10 am - Lay back down. Start to fall asleep...

3:30 am - Newborn cries wanting to eat. Nurse. Burp. Change. Repeat.

4:00 am - Newborn finally falls back to sleep. Lay down. Finally fall asleep...

6:30 am - Toddler: "Watch a show, mom?" Groan. Turn on Netflix. Warm up some pancakes. Start a load of laundry. Eat breakfast.

6:40 am - Head back to bed.

6:41 am - Baby cries wanting to eat. Nurse. Burp. Change. Repeat.

7:30 am - Toddler: "More can-cakes mom?" Warm up more pancakes.

8:00 am - Baby cries wanting to eat. Nurse. Burp. Change. Repeat.

8:30 am - Toddler makes a mess. Ask toddler to clean up mess. Toddler makes a new mess. Ask toddler to clean up mess. Toddler runs away into room where baby is sleeping on the bed. Toddler climbs onto bed and pounces on baby. Nearly lose it. Put toddler in time out in crib. Consider leaving him in there all day.

8:35 am - Baby back asleep. Talk to toddler about why he is timeout. He demonstrates how he jumped on baby. As he jumps, his lip runs into the crib railing. Bloody lip. Fun morning. 

9:00 am - Work on laundry. Toddler "helps." Clean up laundry...

9:30 am - Baby cries wanting to eat. Nurse. Burp. Change. Repeat. And repeat again. Fussy baby. Toddler suggests singing "Baby Beluga" to the baby to help him stop crying. It works!...for two minutes. Fussy baby. 

10:00 am - Hold baby while bouncing on exercise ball while playing soccer with toddler. 

10:10 am - Baby calms and falls asleep. Lay baby down.

10:15 am - Toddler poops.

10:20 am - Baby cries again. Nurse back to sleep.

10:30 am - Work on laundry. Toddler "helps" again. Clean up laundry. 

11:00 am - Make lunch. Eat lunch.

11:40 am - Baby cries again. Nurse. Burp. Change. Falls asleep.

12:20 pm - Toddler poops. Change.

12:30 pm - Wrestle toddler to sleep.

12:40 pm - Both boys sleep. Peace.

12:50 pm - Baby cries again...

Nearly 12 hours of busyness and yet we've gotten nowhere. No one has bathed/showered/or gotten dressed for the day. And we haven't made it out of the house. And the laundry is still not done. I feel like a hamster on a wheel-moving non-stop but not getting anywhere.

At least we've all eaten today. Small victories...